I wouldn't judge you if you had. My family is... well, now you've seen it for yourself.
[ Bullet dodged there, good thing Lars was fourth in line so he's not too far from succession, either. In fact, being the nerd of the family, he was probably way better suited than most of the others. ]
You... [ Wait. What? ] You can do that?
[ Once again, really focusing on the wrong thing here, Hans. ]
I can there. It's pretty much a fairy tale, mysterious magic people just happen! Talk to Belle from the first show sometime, just don't tell her husband.
[He's never met the guy, actually, and has no idea how he'd feel about his backstory getting co-opted. But the less this story spreads around, the better he'd feel about it?]
Um. Well, I did talk to all of them when I was getting your stuff together.
[He is not gonna detail exactly how all of that went down. Hans has the gist - he knows his family best, and besides, why would they let a random servant take all his things if they weren't disposing of them anyway?
He doesn't need the specifics.]
And then we got in an argument and they tried to attack me. Technically, they can break the curse if they manage to become decent people before time runs out, but... [He shrugs, poking at his food. Not gonna hold his breath on that one.]
[ Yeeeeah, he can kinda guess. Actually, he'd more likely believe that they insulted Bal somehow rather than himself, but he's also not super used to anyone getting mad on his behalf. No one's ever done that? Ever? ]
Yeah, I don't see that happening any time soon. [ He shrugs. He'd have more sympathy if they hadn't been totally awful to him his whole life. ] I'm sorry you had to deal with them. I'm actually more surprised they didn't just ignore you once you mentioned me.
I never really did, except to tell them you were dead. I just thought I could pretend to be a servant, get your things, no fuss. But they, uh...they talk pretty freely around their servants, huh?
[In fairness, he doesn't know that any of the real ones would have cared about the way they were treating Hans's memory. But it's certainly classless either way.]
[It wouldn't have made up for the way his family was, but at least he'd have had someone.]
...I waited around afterwards until Lars came home. Told him I'd check in on him later, to make sure he was being a good king. [It was kinda a deliberate threat? The Balladeer is not used to being the one making threats.] So I guess I have to do that in a few years.
Yeah, I think so too. I used to get very attached to them when I was little. Part of me wonders if that didn't get people fired faster, too.
[ But there's no way they'd be that evil, right? That would be just cruel... which means it's definitely possible, you know. ]
Sounds like you put the fear of God in him. [ Which Hans is totally impressed about, btw. ] I can't say they didn't deserve it. And Lars... this is probably a great chance for him. I hope he doesn't waste it.
He did seem...more reserved, I guess? Didn't try to attack me, and he would've had decent reason.
[Not that the Balladeer really considers Hans's family worth getting in a fight over, but he'd have understood if Lars were more upset about the whole thing. The guy went from having a huge family to being one of two surviving members, as far as he knows.]
You couldn't possibly make war on that many countries at once. I know you're an island nation and all that, but there's no way that'd end well.
[ Like standing by and letting your bros abuse your bros. Or being a huge nerd, that too. ]
Oh, definitely not. It would have been a disaster. I can only assume one of my other brothers would have stepped in at some point but... who knows. My father has always shown nothing but pride in my eldest brothers.
[ Maybe there was more to it than that? It's not like Hans ever got to go to any of their cabinet meetings or anything that had to do with ruling. Ever. ]
Not even sure I caught which one was which, to be honest...
[The dozen red-headed assholes sorta blurred together for him, except for the king. He was wearing a crown and all, so.]
I wonder if they're trying to stick together now? I didn't really think they would. I'm not expecting them to actually go through any major character development, but their chances are probably a little better on their own. [Like you, Hans!]
[ He shrugs. His dad some seriously crazy strong genes, apparently? Because it's canon that 11/12 of Hans' brothers are redheads. Only one of the twins is blond. ]
I have to wonder now that they might have the chance to go their separate ways... Lars and I were the only ones who ever ended up playing scapegoat to everyone's frustrations. Maybe without people to mock they'll find something better to do?
[ As... sea slugs? Hans kinda doubts it, but hey if he can change, it's not impossible, right? ]
Well, your world's got merpeople in it. It's not completely impossible, I wouldn't have done that. [But he doesn't sound like he thinks it's terribly likely either.]
[ For real tho, he's obviously the ugliest Westergaard. ]
...So that stuff about Atlantica was actually true?
[ I mean, people tell stories about that country that's definitely not France having an alliance with a merkingdom but Hans is in a totally different ocean, he's only heard stories. ]
To be different, yeah. The other ones pretty much always turn out well, unless they're previews like Judas's. It didn't have an audience, you know - don't tell him this, but it was sort of only there as backstory for our show.
Right, didn't the Player say it was a limited audience...?
[ Imagine being someone's backstory fridge character. Actually considering Hans got character development thanks to dead castmates he doesn't have to think that hard. ]
Being different just for difference's sake is pointless, though. She really should have known better.
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[ Bullet dodged there, good thing Lars was fourth in line so he's not too far from succession, either. In fact, being the nerd of the family, he was probably way better suited than most of the others. ]
You... [ Wait. What? ] You can do that?
[ Once again, really focusing on the wrong thing here, Hans. ]
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I can there. It's pretty much a fairy tale, mysterious magic people just happen! Talk to Belle from the first show sometime, just don't tell her husband.
[He's never met the guy, actually, and has no idea how he'd feel about his backstory getting co-opted. But the less this story spreads around, the better he'd feel about it?]
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True, there's that thing with Elsa and Rapunzel in Corona...
[ He'll have to keep Belle in mind. Maybe they can go visit someday. But back to the point. ]
So you cursed them? My father and my brothers... except for Lars. [ Hans is honestly impressed? ] They must have really gotten under your skin.
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[He is not gonna detail exactly how all of that went down. Hans has the gist - he knows his family best, and besides, why would they let a random servant take all his things if they weren't disposing of them anyway?
He doesn't need the specifics.]
And then we got in an argument and they tried to attack me. Technically, they can break the curse if they manage to become decent people before time runs out, but... [He shrugs, poking at his food. Not gonna hold his breath on that one.]
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Yeah, I don't see that happening any time soon. [ He shrugs. He'd have more sympathy if they hadn't been totally awful to him his whole life. ] I'm sorry you had to deal with them. I'm actually more surprised they didn't just ignore you once you mentioned me.
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[In fairness, he doesn't know that any of the real ones would have cared about the way they were treating Hans's memory. But it's certainly classless either way.]
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They don't exactly pay much attention to them... My father was always quick to terminate people, so the servants try to stay out of the way.
[ Hans takes a sip of his soda, thinking back on all the servants he knew growing up. ]
I was probably the closest to them, since my parents usually just dumped me on the staff. But no one ever stuck around long enough for us to be close.
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[It wouldn't have made up for the way his family was, but at least he'd have had someone.]
...I waited around afterwards until Lars came home. Told him I'd check in on him later, to make sure he was being a good king. [It was kinda a deliberate threat? The Balladeer is not used to being the one making threats.] So I guess I have to do that in a few years.
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[ But there's no way they'd be that evil, right? That would be just cruel... which means it's definitely possible, you know. ]
Sounds like you put the fear of God in him. [ Which Hans is totally impressed about, btw. ] I can't say they didn't deserve it. And Lars... this is probably a great chance for him. I hope he doesn't waste it.
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[Well, Hans knows his general feelings on letting people try to change.]
I'm sure I'll hear about it ahead of time if he screws something up. I visit Arendelle often enough.
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[ And yet he was still going to inherit the throne. This kingdom is a disaster. Hans shrugs. ]
Needless to say, Arendelle was due for a scandal with us, I think. Hopefully mine will be the only one.
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[Not that the Balladeer really considers Hans's family worth getting in a fight over, but he'd have understood if Lars were more upset about the whole thing. The guy went from having a huge family to being one of two surviving members, as far as he knows.]
You couldn't possibly make war on that many countries at once. I know you're an island nation and all that, but there's no way that'd end well.
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[ Like standing by and letting your bros abuse your bros. Or being a huge nerd, that too. ]
Oh, definitely not. It would have been a disaster. I can only assume one of my other brothers would have stepped in at some point but... who knows. My father has always shown nothing but pride in my eldest brothers.
[ Maybe there was more to it than that? It's not like Hans ever got to go to any of their cabinet meetings or anything that had to do with ruling. Ever. ]
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[The dozen red-headed assholes sorta blurred together for him, except for the king. He was wearing a crown and all, so.]
I wonder if they're trying to stick together now? I didn't really think they would. I'm not expecting them to actually go through any major character development, but their chances are probably a little better on their own. [Like you, Hans!]
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[ He shrugs. His dad some seriously crazy strong genes, apparently? Because it's canon that 11/12 of Hans' brothers are redheads. Only one of the twins is blond. ]
I have to wonder now that they might have the chance to go their separate ways... Lars and I were the only ones who ever ended up playing scapegoat to everyone's frustrations. Maybe without people to mock they'll find something better to do?
[ As... sea slugs? Hans kinda doubts it, but hey if he can change, it's not impossible, right? ]
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Well, your world's got merpeople in it. It's not completely impossible, I wouldn't have done that. [But he doesn't sound like he thinks it's terribly likely either.]
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...So that stuff about Atlantica was actually true?
[ I mean, people tell stories about that country that's definitely not France having an alliance with a merkingdom but Hans is in a totally different ocean, he's only heard stories. ]
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[that game was forever ago now, weird]
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[ That's kind of awful tbh? ]
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[And it is awful. But like, he's only the narrator of this one, can't do a thing about all that garbage.]
We've honestly been pretty lucky. There's other Annas and Elsas who got caught up - at least no one we know's been grabbed twice.
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[ It's just not a murdergame without the murder, what can you do? ]
I mean, everything turned out pretty well in the end, but what if it hadn't? That was what the Player wanted, right?
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[ Imagine being someone's backstory fridge character. Actually considering Hans got character development thanks to dead castmates he doesn't have to think that hard. ]
Being different just for difference's sake is pointless, though. She really should have known better.
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...I think it was more like...she wanted it to go the way she thought her story should have gone. Her original show.
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[ Hans hadn't actually considered that... ]
That would explain why she got so mad. Two 'failures' in a row...
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