cmo/post-Curtains

[trettende]

Call me Out for Prince Hans of the... eventually-thawed heart? (post-Curtains)
Feel free to do AU stuff with me, I am here for all of it.

Comments

[trettende]

[ Okay admittedly Bal should be Max and Hans is the perfect Grinch, they can work it out. ]

Wow, I never expected you to be this excited about breaking and entering.

[ HE'S KIDDING....... ]

But yeah, let's do it! They'd never suspect the both of us working on this. The cast gets presents and we'll even get free cookies, who can complain?

[tellthestory]

It's like a nice felony!

I don't think anyone's young enough to still set out milk and cookies. Except Hime, Santa is literally real in her world. [.....] I'm going to convince everyone Santa is real.

[trettende]

[ Hans shakes his head, laughing. Have you wanted to do crime this whole time, Bal?? ]

Who knows? Elsa and Anna might, this is probably going to be their first Christmas together. [ Hans, you know way too much about Anna and Elsa.... ]

Honestly, if they don't suspect you're behind it, they really might. That'll be a real Christmas miracle.

[ How the Balladeer Saved Christmas? ]

[tellthestory]

[He wants to do charity! With secrets!]

Let's do it. Not for Hook though, I'm not going there.

[trettende]

[ So... crime. ]

Yeah, I think going all that way to leave him coal would be a little much.

[ See, look at them! Buying Christmas ornaments, fake reindeer and planning their own Santa Claus adventure. Who's having the best Christmas ever this year? These two. ]

That's what you do, right?

[ His brothers used to get him coal all the time. Now he can totally joke about this because his coal days are over, right?? ]

[tellthestory]

[it's the opposite of theft! it's sneaky giving!]

That's what they say. You're right, it's way too much work. Valjean's probably going to do something weirdly nice for him anyway, I wouldn't want to get underfoot.

[trettende]

[ Breaking and entering! ]

Valjean? He would, wouldn't he? He's practically a saint.

[ He would forgive Hans and invite him to Christmas dinner. ]

What should we get everyone else?

[tellthestory]

He's a Christ allegory in a lotta ways.

[But nevermind that strain of meta.]

I have no idea. I've never really had to get people presents before, I don't even know what I'm getting them from me.

[trettende]

[ Hans shrugs, like he does with most of the meta that goes over his head. ]

Well, you probably can't go wrong with like, a sweater or socks if you want something simple. It doesn't have to be a huge thing, some people are just happy to be remembered.

[ "Some people" meaning people who definitely aren't Hans, that would be lame. ]

But maybe like... some new tools for Billy, a... make up set for Heather? And a text book for Natalie... Things they might find useful.

[ believe it or not, Hans spent a lot of time paying attention to what people liked. ]

[tellthestory]

Yeah, that's...that's good. Should've realized you'd be good at this.

[He picks up some outdoor lights, considers them, then puts them in the cart.]

I thought we'd definitely get some future tech for Billy. Just the kind he's used to having anyway. And...hm. What about Astarte?

[trettende]

Well, I paid a lot of attention to people. Especially what they liked... Made it easier to, y'know, get people to like me.

[ Hey, if it's useful now, then it's a good skill, right? ]

Yeah, Billy would probably appreciate some commodities. Maybe a microwave? [ Hans loves those things. ] For Astarte... well, she had several books she was reading back at the opera, so maybe some fiction? Or a cookbook, her cake was not nearly a good as Hime's.

[tellthestory]

I thought it was fine. [He snaps his fingers.] Let's get Valjean a microwave too! I guess that's sort of for all three of them, if they're living together...but we can put his name on the box. That's brilliant, Hans.

[He grins at him for a moment.] We'll have to make up a whole list and come out later. Still haven't even finished the decorating...you know, it's funny? I was worried I wouldn't be able to keep busy without a show to run.

[trettende]

[ Aw, Hans is actually using his skills for good. It actually makes him smile. ]

I mean, they're so convenient! Hopefully they'll have electricity at Eliza's... But yeah, we'll make a list.

[ Maybe they could get Billy's help with that. Or magic something up? They'll figure it out. They've got plenty of time. ]

There's a lot more to being a normal person than you'd think, huh? I never thought about how much work went into this when I was living in the castle back in the Southern Isles.

[ Not that playing Santa is particularly normal, but Hans is still figuring this out too. ]

We won't have any trouble keeping busy for the holidays, I think.

[tellthestory]

Oh...yeah, they wouldn't, would they? [He considers this for a moment, then shrugs.] I'll figure something out.

Dear god, that castle. There is no natural light in there. I see how that makes it easier to defend, but it has to get depressing. [love yourselves, royal family. or, actually, consider loving yourselves much less.] Yeah, we'll keep busy. Especially if there's a party to plan! The travel's fine, I just need to figure out schedules.

[trettende]

[ They haven't found an issue they can't work out yet, so there's no need to worry about it now. ]

Add to that all the black stone everywhere and it's a wonder more of us didn't grow up with serious issues. I used to just go out on the piers to get away and think, but there's really no escaping a castle like that.... [ You know, Hans, having violent brothers usually means you're not the only one with issues. ]

Right, we don't want to visit too often, probably? And I'm sure there are lots of places we could go to, just the two of us... but we should probably focus on planning the party first! Should we make it Christmas day?

[ Party planning is totally up Hans' alley, maybe he'll start pushing the cart towards the party area, even if Bal can probably magic up everything they need... ]

[tellthestory]

Yeah, um...

[Ugh, now he feels bad. He's gonna have to tell him sometime soon, isn't he? Better he hears it from him than Billy or Anna, Arendelle knows enough about that whole thing that it's bound to come up.]

Yeah. Not in the morning, people will want to be with their families then. Maybe we could have a nice lunch, and then birthday cake after? [He picks up some streamers, considers them, and tosses them in the cart. Let's do this place up HARD]

[trettende]

Is something wrong?

[ It's weird for Bal to be cagey, Hans isn't gonna miss that. But still, it's not like he's gonna be mad. ]

Lunch sounds good. That way people will stick around for cake even if they decide to head home early.

[ He's not convinced people won't try to leave if they find out it's his birthday, but maybe that's just him and a childhood of back memories. ]

We can set everything up in the morning. Though if we're doing Christmas as well we won't have much time for sleep...

[ Eh, who needs sleep anyway. They can have streamers and matching tablecloths and whatever else. Maybe balloons? Hans has not experienced balloons yet. ]

[tellthestory]

It's, um. [He glances around. This conversation would be a weird one to have where normal people can hear.] It's nothing, I'll tell you later.

[LET'S CHANGE THE SUBJECT]

We can probably set some of it up the day before. Decorations and stuff. You've planned way more parties than I have...

[trettende]

Alright.

[ Weird, but okay. ]

Oh, good point. Plus we can do gifts on Christmas Eve, just you and me. That way we'll have more time on my birthday to get everything ready.

[ Actually celebrating his birthday almost sounds fake, but here they are. Shopping for... party stuff. ]

Planning is nice, but it's even better when you get to plan and be a part of the celebrations. You'll see.

[tellthestory]

I've never planned for anything that wasn't going to involve a murder at some point. [He looks up and makes eye contact with a woman pushing a cart in the other direction.] A fictional...murder mystery party murder!

[Nailed it?]

I feel like it's cheating having you help plan your own birthday party. But at least that way we know you're going to like it?

[trettende]

[ Hans laughs the moment he catches the woman's eye. Maybe she'll think it's some kind of in-joke, but Bal's total lack of subtlety is too good, ok. ]

Now there's an idea.

[ Maybe next year, when the sting has worn off a little bit. Hans smiles, fond. ]

I don't mind a bit of cheating. It's enough just having a party, at all.

[tellthestory]

Oh, god, would people be okay with that?

[Rhetorical. Although seriously, would they? The Balladeer feels like he's maybe bounced back a little too quick - the whole thing was definitely traumatizing, but also he's more used to death than everyone else.]

As long as you're fine with it. Oh, what kind of food should there be before the cake? I don't think it should be a potluck like all the Opera parties, people will be too busy with the holidays.

[trettende]

Maybe not for a while...? We could have scavenger hunts or different kinds of mysteries in the meantime. Like. Stolen artifacts maybe? There's plenty of other fake crime.

[ Hans got 100% desensitized to dead bodies after the shit with Eliza but you can bet your ass he'll trigger some latent PTSD if he sees any realistically fake headshots happen again. It's probably fair to assume most of the cast is like this.

Still, Hans really likes planning parties now, so that's definitely a thing that should happen someday. Also thanks to Denmark for having a whole page on Christmas food. (Why do they have autoplay, though.) ]

I guess we could get something catered now that we're not stuck somewhere. My cooking skills don't really surpass sandwiches and soups. But if I had to choose, we could get smoked salmon, red cabbage, maybe some mushrooms and vegetables...? Uh and probably something besides quiche, I think we all had enough of that.

[ Never mind meat pies, oh man. ]

[tellthestory]

Oh, gosh. We'd probably want someone else to make that.

[He's been learning to cook, but that sounds? Complicated?]

How would we get catering to our house? Maybe if we just had them bring it somewhere else and took it through ourselves? I don't want to upset the caterers by, uh. Altering their understanding of reality.

[trettende]

[ Hans laughs. That menu is way too complicated, he knows. ]

Yeah, I can't make any of that, that's just what we used to eat back home.

[ So you know, it'd be nice. But probably not worth disrupting their lives, yeah. He considers it. ]

That... might be for the best. We could go pick it up in person, though I don't know if we could carry it all.