trettende | cmo/post-Curtains

[The Balladeer looks around, trying to see what other customers are doing. There's none in the immediate vicinity.]

Guess so. We didn't bring a saw.

[Granted, he could have it down anyway, but that would look weird to the normal people around. It would've been obvious if they were carrying tools in here.]

If we can just carry it out of sight, I'll snap us back home. Around the corner or something.

[ Hans tries to get someone's attention. It's not like they look all that strange, two guys in flannel picking out Christmas trees. ]

A saw seems kind of brutish. But I guess they must have some kind of machine?

[ Then again, Hans has never used one in his life, princes have servants for that stuff. There aren't exactly many normal people around, and personally, traveling via Bal's powers is kind of cool. ]

Shouldn't have to carry it too far, then. But that's part of the experience, right?

[ It's much easier this way, Hans likes this a lot better. He can lift, sure, but carrying a tree home would suck. ]

Maybe a chainsaw.

[He shrugs. It's easy enough to get someone's attention, at least - the place isn't so big that customers can easily get lost in it. And yep, here comes the chainsaw. The Balladeer pays, with the money he tends to have out of nowhere, and declines the offer to help lash it to the top of their car.]

Okay, great! You take the back, I'll get the front?

[Easier for him to get them home if he leads. The tree's manageable, but pretty heavy. It would be awfully difficult to carry all the way home, if they were actually going far. He wonders, sometimes, where exactly the locals of this town think they live.]

[ Man, technology is incredible. One day it'll stop impressing Hans, but that day is not today. He watches the Balladeer go about his transaction, then reaches down to grab his end of the tree. It's heavy and not exactly easy on his hands. Maybe he should've worn gloves for this part.

Not that they'll have to carry it far, they don't need a car. They have something way better. Weird corners and inter-dimensional travel. ]

Alright, is that steady for you?

[The Balladeer's not as strong as Hans, but he is at least wearing gloves. He's still a musician, he can't walk around letting his hands get all torn up. Besides, it's cold. The top of the tree's less heavy anyway, and he gets it hoisted up onto his shoulder.]

Yeah, feels good. C'mon. [He makes for the end of the lot, where there's a little copse of wild trees and bushes they can duck around behind. Once he gauges they're sufficiently covered, they step through the trees again and out into their front yard. The front door's already standing open, so they don't have to worry about getting back in with the tree.] Oh, tree stand...I'll just make one, I don't want to go back for that.

[ He's been in eternal winters, this is nothing now. But Hans carries the tree up to the bushes and manages to almost not flinch when they make the scene transition to their front lawn. See, he's getting better. It's just a little disorienting, but probably not as weird as whatever someone would see if they were actually looking at them when they disappeared.

The people in town must think they live in the woods or something. They're not... totally wrong. Ish. ]

Oh, I completely forgot. [ Hans shrugs his shoulders, careful with the tree as they make their way inside. ] And a ladder too, maybe? That'll make putting the lights up easier.

[ Hans doesn't exactly want to treat the Balladeer like he's some kind of wish-granting genie, but he doesn't feel guilty asking for minor stuff. It's a fine line when you're an ex-manipulative jerk, he's gotta be careful. It's probably more power than one guy should have... but man, does it get tempting sometimes. ]

Sure, but we're getting the lights for real. We're gonna want them next year.

["The Balladeer snaps his fingers and everything is instantly decorated" doesn't seem like much of a holiday tradition to him? He's never had traditions that didn't revolve around murder before, he's a little hungry for them.]

Here, just get the bottom in there and I'll push my end up.

Of course. That way we can do it together. Although how many lights are you thinking?

[ Hans may not have been part of many of the Christmas traditions in his old home (besides 'hide the presents from Hans' and his oldest brother's favorite game, 'tell everyone how much better your gifts are') but the thought of putting real effort towards something they can both enjoy is kind of appealing. He's well past relying on servants at this point.

Next year though, that sounds really good to him. They'll have plenty of years like this. It's almost hard to believe. Hans doesn't really care how many lights the Balladeer decides to get. They'll be theirs, and that's what matters. ]

Like this? [ Carefully, Hans steps around the base and dips the tree trunk into place. ] You got it?

Yeppppp... [He gives it a shove, and the tree rocks up into place. The Balladeer grabs at the trunk to keep it from tipping too far over, but the tree stand does its job and it steadies out pretty quickly. The Balladeer laughs a little, delighted. They have a Christmas tree!]

Great! It looks fantastic. We're gonna need to string the lights around...I don't know how long the strings are, maybe two or three for this? And then the back and the front...

[He's already moving back through the house as he's talking, to peer out at their backyard. It's not particularly landscaped, and the wild plants are already starting to creep up from the woods into what's supposed to be their lawn. Honestly, he doesn't mind enough to do anything about that.]

Maybe we could just get bigger ones for out there. Like lanterns? It'd be good if anyone gets lost in the Woods this winter, it's starting to get too cold for wandering long. [He somehow pronounces the capital W. The Woods as a trope are pretty eternal, and very easy to lose your way in, only to end up in mysterious otherworldly places. Something to watch out for.]

Looks good.

[ Hans nods at the tree, smiling. It doesn't have to be huge to be perfect, and right here it looks perfect. Watching Bal be this excited is endearing on its own. Hans hasn't gotten birthday presents for years, but this could be it. Seeing the Balladeer's face on Christmas morning is definitely going to be worth it.

Hans may not know what happens to kids who get lost in the woods or why they'd end up at their place, but he follows the Balladeer into backyard. It is definitely an abyss back there. You know, just a little unsettling. But it's nothing some Christmas can't fix.. ]

I think I saw some ornaments made of lights, if nothing else. They were like... Reindeer and presents, we could set those up, too!

[ Are lawn ornaments tacky? Because at this rate they're just going to be a giant beacon of light and that's okay. ]

[Well, the ones who don't get scooped up by horror stories or traditional fantasy might end up here. He thinks they're probably on the lighter edge of the fairy tale genre; there is a Disney character involved, former villain or not. Maybe they can be the mysterious mentor figures in a pinch, sing a song and give a bit of vital advice and send the hero off without ever appearing in the narrative again. It couldn't end up any worse than the trolls.

He may have already done the early-story vengeful curse-layer bit as well. But that usually requires you to go to the curse-ees, and also he might not have technically told Hans that he turned the majority of his family into sea monsters? Billy promised not to tell him first, so.]

Yeah! We could just string them along the treeline, no need to totally decorate any one of them. And we'll need normal ornaments for this one in here...let's head back and look at what they have?

[ Trolls are a pretty low bar, but that sounds about right. Hans would be okay with helping the occasional lost traveler, it's not like he's doing the villain thing anymore.

~~He's not gonna be mad, Bal. I mean they totally had it coming and he hates most of them... He'd just feel bad that you had to meet so many of them.~~ ]

Whatever looks good, honestly. I'll follow your lead. [ He's still getting used to Christmas lights in general but they seem really cool. ]

Sure, we should have a look! [ And it's not like going back to the store takes more than a few seconds. ] What kind of ornaments did you want to get?

[~~Look he's not a hundred percent proud of it. He's not the kind of person that generally doles out life-altering curses.~~]

I don't know, the round ones? That's the kind they always have in show trees. [He turns to start heading back out the front, towards the rip in time-space that leads back to the store.] Do you think you could find your way out of here without me?

[ ~~Just blame Hans' influence somehow. Disney has a way with poetic justice.~~ ]

Okay, just making sure. I've heard some people hand-make them but I've always thought the trees look a little messy when they don't all coincide.

[ He's not the most creative guy, this Hans. He also tries not to think too hard about how the tears in time and space work, only that things often lead where they shouldn't. Perhaps even when they shouldn't. ]

Do you mean the house? Or just to the store?

[ There's some stage magic keeping the town a short walk away, sure, and Hans does plan on buying Bal a gift when he gets the chance and he's not looking. So... hopefully there's a way back, right? ]

To the store, or anywhere. And back again, I guess - I don't want you to be stuck in here if I'm doing something, or if you just want to go somewhere by yourself.

[He takes Hans's hand, leading him back through the scene transition into the outskirts of the town.]

We've all had enough of being stuck in places, I guess.

Oh, I don't know...

[ It does bear questioning, huh. Hans follows the Balladeer through the door/portal/what have you, but he looks back as they enter the store. ]

But you're right. If we get separated or anything... I'd rather be able to come home.

[ He's not narratively aware the way Bal is, but he can kinda tell there's something weird about the scene transitions they use. Enough that he'd probably recognize one if he saw one. Just because he can't make them doesn't mean he can't use them alone, right? Probably? ]

Is there something you could do? Like leave doors, or make them open just for me?

I could try leaving some kind of physical door on our end. I don't want to do that on this side, though, that would catapult us into "terrifying urban legend" so fast...

[That's some Night Vale shit right there. He doesn't want to risk their home going sideways if people start conceiving of them as the People Beyond The Doors or something.]

Besides, I couldn't put one everywhere we go. It'd be good to figure out something else, if we're separated while traveling somewhere new or something...what do they feel like, for you?

Yeah, leaving those around would just be trouble.

[ Then again, how to handwave Hans traveling on his own... it's not like he can get temporary narrator powers, that's waaay too much power to give a former villain. But getting separated would... well, Hans would be in some serious trouble, probably. But he could make it work. ]

It's kind of hard to put into words. It's like... Well, they always feel out of place. Like the colors are off. But it's more than that.

[ Are there narrative terms for this... He only has Frozen references. ]

It's like an eternal winter in July. But not in the cold sense. The air changes and everything, but only for a second, then it's gone.

[Yeah, Hans definitely deserves to be able to come and go as he pleases - here, maybe to Seymour's, anywhere they know he might like to be regularly. But if they get separated in an unfamiliar environment, the Balladeer can only imagine it'd be because something bad happened. He'd hate for Hans to not have a way out; if he's not able to help, there really is no one else.]

That's...interesting. [The colors could easily be a medium shift; Hans is used to a certain animation style.] See, it's not really like a door. There's not a scene change just sitting in the air here, I could do it anywhere as long as nobody's watching - think of it like a play. Once we walk offstage, no one thinks about where we've gone, so we can go wherever I want. Technically I could do it while they're watching too, but that'd break things unless teleportation already existed there or I'd set myself up as some kind of wizard...

It'd probably be easier to start if we just did it in the same place every time, huh. [Maybe he doesn't need to go through all the actual mechanics.]

[ I mean, if Bal was ever in any trouble, Hans wouldn't want to leave him either. But they'd be in some deep trouble, they'd need to pull some serious magic to save him. It could be a fun kink meme prompt. ]

Okay, that... kind of makes sense. [ I mean technically Hans has an official live action version, thanks OUAT, but he's not that Hans. It's a lot to get straight when you're just a Disney character, but wizards and magic seem to work the same way, there's just. Stage rules? ]

Yeah, the same place could work. Or, would some kind of distraction work? Kind of like how they dim the lights when people change the setting onstage?

...huh. I guess?

[They should buy smoke bombs.]

Maybe I could give you some kind of "magic thing". [He does the air quotes.] It could be enough of an explanation to work.

I mean, we can't exactly go behind a curtain, so...

[ Smoke bombs and magic tricks, this sounds like a great plan. ]

Yeah, like a pocket watch, or some kind of piece of jewelry? It'd have to only work for me since, if we're really thinking of a worst-case here, if it got stolen that would be bad.

[ And probably the plot to yet another wacky hijinks adventure.

Gee, it's a good thing the store is probably reasonably empty right now. This would be a weird conversation to overhear. ]

It'd probably be complicated enough that any thieves would wind up in South Pacific or something. But yeah, good idea.

[He picks up some lights to inspect them, then tosses them in a cart. They seem pretty long. He'll get like five boxes.]

What if I set up a few doorways in our house to places you'd go often, and then you had something that just let you get back home? If anything happened that'd make you need it, home's probably the safest place to go.

Right. Or somewhere ironic, I'm guessing?

[ That seems to be how these things work out. He's getting the hang of it, maybe. Still no clue about Christmas lights though, so you're on that duty, Bal. ]

That sounds like a safe enough plan. My thing could be more of an anchor than actually magic. And if we keep things at home... well, people are less likely to just stumble inside.

[ But think about how fun it would be at parties! ]

Depending on who it was.

[He might make it take thieves somewhere nasty.]

That'd probably be easier to work out. Sounds good to me. [Can that be a Christmas gift? Maybe. He'll have to make it look nice, whatever he attaches it to.] What color ornaments do you like?

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